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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “highly unrealistic”, he states. You feel invincible and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I surpass everyone else … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to criticism from others. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors online – and eventually diagnosed by a professional. But, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that conclusion on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – particularly if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

Although people have been called narcissists for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people hide it, as there is widespread prejudice associated with the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Although up to 75% of people identified as having the condition are men, findings indicates this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this response – which is sometimes referred to as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her partner “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding continuously what is suitable or harmful to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me as a kid,” she says. There were no boundaries when my household were insulting me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult shares when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “highly empathetic of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for psychological counseling via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is likely to occur early next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he comments. Those interviewed have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of online advocates and the rise of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number